That must be the biggest patience I have ever kept in my entire life.
.
Camilla Von Ascherberg.
An inch apart from my face.
In my arms.
Looking at me with those prettiest pairs of greys.
.
How did I manage to survive?
If she hadn't stopped looking at my face, I might have kissed those lips she bites every time she is nervous.
I might have bitten it for herself.
.
Fuck! What is wrong with me?
What is this feeling?!
I wasn't a desperate guy, nor did I lose my control over physical pleasures. Even though I'm a teenager with freshly hit puberty, I learned to have self-control.
I have other things to do before I get wasted in the thing called love. I don't believe it in the first place. All these feelings are the chemical mixture of hormones. That's it. Nothing about it is magical.
And I've been involved with girls before. Though I wasn't in a relationship, I could say I am surrounded by girls. But...
.
But what is this magical aura around Camilla?
What is she?
Why can't I see her as another girl I met in my life?
Though Dahlia, Sofia, Sylvia, and Camilla are always going to be the special girls for me, but...
But why does Camilla feel different...?
Why does Camilla not feel like 'just friends'?
What the hell is this feeling?!
.
I am supposed to be her 'just friend' and not supposed to feel anything more than that. Especially not something that I am feeling right now.
Aren't all best friends supposed to have this rule of not crossing lines?
But are we best friends anymore?
But why am I thinking this in the first place?
Do I want to cross the lines?!
.
As I said,
I'm not a desperate person.
But I get what I want.
............................................................................................................
We reached home by 11pm sharp as our parents told us to do so. No one was hurt, kidnapped, or killed on our little adventure.
Though Sofia is going to bitch about me to Dad and Uncle Josh, she at least had fun with me.
.
Camilla was all quiet on our way back home. She didn't say a single word to me after our little and awkward talk outside the room of mirrors.
But that is only eating me from the inside. Thousands of questions are popping up in my head.
Most of the questions were like,
'What exactly are we?'
'Are we just friends now?'
'Do I feel anything more than just friendship?'
'Or is this just physical attraction?'
.
I parked the car in the parking area while everyone else had already gotten out of the car and walked inside. Sofia and Jeremy were tired even after not doing anything.
Dahlia was still in the mood of wandering around, but Uncle Christian pretended to be hurt to get Lia back in the house before midnight.
And for Camilla,
I don't know what was bothering her, but she kept messaging someone all the way back to the home.
Hm.
That can't be Uncle Rhys since Uncle Rhys hates messaging apps.
Thanks to Aunt Jules, she always teaches him how to use social media and apps.
.
Right when I was about to lock the car, the phone rang inside.
Someone has forgotten their phone here. I reached to the backseat and picked up the phone.
The phone was still ringing, and the name on the screen said,
Eugene.
.
It's Camilla's phone.
And who is Eugene?
The call must be really important since he is calling her this late at night.
.
I dashed inside the castle and looked for Camilla. Jeremy and Sofia were sitting on the couch while Dahlia continued talking about something related to her figure skating sport.
"Jerry? Where's Camilla?" I asked as the phone in my hand kept ringing. And that continuous sound of ringing made me want to pick up the call and ask, Who the fuck are you?
"She went to the kitchen." Jeremy said while patting Sofia's head. Sofia and Jeremy were this close to falling asleep on the couch, but Dahlia's excited talk kept them awake.
I sped up as the phone rang in my hands again, and it was the seventh third call.
Third call from someone named Eugene.
Eugene is a male name.
Hm.
.
"Someone named Eugene is calling you like a freak." I uttered when I finally saw Camilla inside the kitchen. I guess he was making a coffee for everyone.
"Eugene?" Camilla's eyes flicked with shine, and she quickly grabbed the phone from my hand.
"Is he a friend?" I asked, but she had already picked up the call and ignored my question.
.
"Eugene?" She talked on the call, and her expressions went brighter and brighter... leading her to crack a wide smile on her face.
So someone other than me and Uncle Rhys can also make her smile wide.
"Oh my god. I can't believe this, Eugene! I'm so very happy for you!" Camilla's eyes are full of happiness. "God, I can't tell you how proud I am of you. I can't wait to meet and hug you!"
Hug you?
"Yeah. Call me later when you're done. I'll be awake." Camilla chuckled with her brightest smile, and I kept looking at her face with confusion.
She hung up the call and put the phone on the kitchen top while going back to the earlier task of making a coffee.
And here I am.
Standing in front of her, leaning on the kitchen top, waiting for her to say something...
.
"Sugar?" Camilla asked me something I don't give a damn about.
"No." I nod with sucked-in cheeks. "Just take a sip before serving." Camilla's eyes widen with surprise, and she shakes her head negatively.
"Jesus! How cheesy." Dahlia entered in from behind us, and I turned to look at her. "Stop flirting with Cami, Goofy. Especially when Uncle Rhys is around."
"Well, he is not here right now." I answered her casually, but my eyes lingered on Camilla, who suddenly looked all happy and enthusiastic. "I can flirt with her however I want."
Because of the call?
Because of whoever that Eugene is?
.
"Seriously, Cami. Don't get trapped into his charismatic aura." Dahlia flumped on the kitchen top and pinched my cheek hard. "He is a devil inside. A possessive bastard who used to beat the guys around Sofia."
"Only because those guys were trying to hit on my sister," I replied.
"She was a kid." Dahlia gawked.
"She still is." I gawked back. "If I see guys around her, I would beat them even now."
"Such a toxic brother you are." Dahlia pulled me closer by the collar and flicked on my forehead. "I can't imagine what kind of toxic boyfriend you would be."
It was pure sarcasm from her mouth, but she isn't that wrong.
I am possessive about my girls. I am possessive about Mom, I am possessive about Sofia, I am possessive about my aunts, and I am possessive about my friends too.
And I don't even regret my possessiveness. I am Chen by personality, but at my core I am a Volkov.
.
"Calling me a toxic boyfriend?" I crooked my brow. "Care about your attitude, Lia. Whoever will date you will be dating a trouble."
.
While Dahlia and I chat and almost end up biting each other with our words,
Camilla's attention got distracted by her phone.
She put the cups on the kitchen top as the smile on her face disappeared quickly.
The sudden panic was on her face, and her hands trembled. In a quick moment when the cup of hot coffee tipped on the kitchen top and on Camilla's hand when she tried to rush away with her phone.
"Camilla?!" My body rushed towards her automatically, and I grabbed her hand with worry climbing up my head.
"Niko! Let me... let me go..." Instead of holding her hand under the cold water, Camilla tried to escape the kitchen with her phone still vibrating in her hand.
"Cami?! You burnt your hand! Stop!" Dahlia came up with the glass of cold water as quickly as possible and poured it on Camilla's hand.
"I'm fine... I'm just fine..." Camilla snatched her hand from my hand, and before we could even say anything, she was gone out of the kitchen.
But,
But before she could leave... I saw the name popping up on her phone.
.
The name has been a 'close chapter' for us. The name has been forbidden to take in front of anyone. And the name that has been printed on my head at list of 'People to kill'.
Mr. Callister.
Is she fucking kidding me?!
.
"Please clean the mess, Lia." I said to Dahlia and ran behind Camilla. I am not letting it slide this time.
Not a fucking chance...
..............................................................................................................
"I'll fucking kill him! I'll fucking kill him, Camilla! Let go of my fucking hand!" Punch.
"How dared he touch you?! I'll wipe his existence from the world!" Kick.
"You motherfucking bastard! You fucking pedophile! You piece of shit!" Kick. Kick. Kick.
"Niko, please. Stop! Please, I beg you. I beg you to stop!" Plead. "Let him go! He'll die! Please. Please, Niko. I'm begging you!"
.
I can't ever wipe that memory out of my head. I just can't.
I see it crystal clear, playing on my mind like I'm watching a horror movie.
.
Crying grey eyes, blood on Camilla's lips, and filthy fucking hands fisting her blonde hair aggressively.
She was on her knees, begging for mercy while those filthy hands dared to slap her!
He slapped her! He slapped Camilla! He fucking dared to slap Camilla!
The blood flowed down on her lips as well as tears from her eyes. Her hands trembling with fear and unable to resist or do anything but squeeze on her knees. Her face was red, her body was numb, and her heart was pounding hard inside her chest.
.
I see it all. I fucking see it all again and again and again, and I can't stop seeing it because of my damn photographic memory.
If I had not reached out to Camilla that day, I don't know what would have happened to her. I don't know if she would have ever told anyone about that.
I don't know if she would have ever gotten out of that...
But is she out?
.
In less than two minutes, I was in her room. But she wasn't.
She wasn't inside the room.
The door of the balcony was opened, and I just know where she might be.
I know where she can be right now.
On the roof.
I know her.
She was my best friend no fucking matter what.
.
The ladder is connected to the roof, and I didn't waste a second to climb up and be where she is.
I'd fucking climb Mount Everest if she were there.
I peeked out of the small wooden door to the roof, and here she is—
Open blondes. Milky skin. Grey eyes shine under the full moon.
For a moment, my heart beat faster for no reason. My eyelashes forgot to blink, and my lips parted automatically.
Camilla Von Ascherberg.
You're magical.
.
"Don't tell me you're planning a suicide." I put on my casual tone to vanquish the unnamed feeling popping out of my seriously angry mind.
"Why are you here, Niko?" Instead of answering back to what I said, she chose to ask me another question I have no answer for.
.
Anger level only went up even though I'm trying to fucking take it under the patience.
Why does she have to push me away when I am the only one who she can talk about this with?
.
"What do you think I am here for, Camilla?" I said, sitting beside her on the roof. The casual tone I had put on is being replaced with seriousness.
"Don't answer me with another question." She said as her delicate finger wiped the remains of tears under her eyes. "And just please... please leave me alone for some time..."
No.
I won't.
"I'm not leaving you alone even for a minute." I uttered and scooted towards her. "Try pushing me down to the roof if you want to."
"Niko?" Camilla and her big grey eyes. Always hide more words behind them than her mouth. "Please..."
"I told you not to beg." I said, engulfing my fingers with her. For some reason, I don't like the word 'please' from her mouth. She doesn't have to plead for anything. Especially not for something she has the right to demand.
"I just want to be alone..." She said. She said she wanted to be alone, but her palm only tightened on mine, not letting me go and pulling me closer instead.
She can't even lie properly.
.
The protective side of my personality is taking over my head. I used to think that my dad had given me his best qualities, like high IQ, photographic memory, and protectiveness, but now I think of them as a curse since this protectiveness will never let me settle down.
"Who were you talking to?" I couldn't hold back but to ask. I know the answer, but I just want to hear it from her mouth.
"No... No one." She buffered. She is really bad at lying. Terrible, actually.
Her legs curled to her stomach, her tiny body shivering from the cold since she wasn't even wearing a sweater on that falling-sleeve dress.
Her hair waved with the wind and brushed her cheeks. She looks like a beautiful porcelain doll. Tiny nose, heart-shaped face, puff lips that she bites again and again. The freckles covering her pale skin on her cheek, neck, and collarbones.
Even looking at her makes my heart fill with something responsible.
I can totally understand why Uncle Rhys is so gentle and possessive about his little princess.
I can understand why he'd burn the entire world if anything happens to her. He'd not let anything happen to her in the first place, but...
.
"Was that no one is Mr. Callister?" I know what that subject would do to her, but... But I need a fucking explanation of why she is still in contact with him.
"No." She lied again. Her fingers clenched on my palm. Her toes curled. The nervousness was visible on her worried face.
"Camilla. I need you to be honest with me." I scoot closer, and our arms touch. Her shoulders touched my biceps, and blondes brushed against my cheek when the wind blew. "And tell me of what is going on."
"There's nothing to tell, Niko." She swallowed and again bite her lips.
"Is he bothering you again?" I did not let her change the subject. "Tell me, Camilla. I wouldn't know it if you don't speak."
.
A pause.
A tear.
And she sobbed.
.
"I can't. I can't tell you everything, Niko..." Camilla sobbed as her palms covered her face in a slow movement. "I don't want... I don't want Dad to find this out..."
"What is it, Camilla?! Did Mr. Callister do something again?! "I... I am about to lose my control and find that fucking bastard for a kill. "Tell me at this very moment."
"This is... everything is too complicated to be solved now, Niko..." Camilla sobbed even harder. "He'd never... he'd never let me go..."
He would what?
.
Mr. Callister is a royal court member and was Camilla's royal etiquette trainer.
He is the reason Camilla fears mirrors.
He was the one to trap Camilla in the room of mirrors every day and made her tell herself, 'I hate you.'.
.
Camilla was just a kid when she was planted with the fear of mirrors, and her little self refused to speak up about the problems she was facing.
The mannerly, soft, and kindhearted Camilla didn't want her dad to be worried about her. She just couldn't bear the thought of her dad getting sad and continued to be quiet about what was happening with her...
.
But one day,
One day when I visited her to give her a surprise, I saw something. I saw something that I should have known for a long, long time.
I saw Mr. Callister slapping Camilla on her cheek while she was sitting on her knees in front of him. He was gripping on to her hair so hard that a few of her strands were broken on the floor.
She was sobbing hard, and the blood was running down on her lips while she begged for mercy.
.
My head spun at the view, and it didn't take me a second to place a hard punch on Mr. Callister's face.
It was Camilla's ballet studio and is supposed to be filled with ballerinas, but I see no one. I see no one else but Mr. Callister and Camilla.
Their reflection was shining in the mirror behind, and I lost it all.
I lost the thing called patient that day.
.
Even as a fourteen-year-old boy, I beat Mr. Callister so bad. I punched every body part of his and kicked his fucking soul out.
He sure resisted, but my anger made me unstoppable.
I remember the blood covering the floor. I remember Camilla begging me to not kill Mr. Callister. I remember my knuckles bleeding because I couldn't stop myself from beating him.
.
If not for Camilla's request, I'd have committed a murder that day.
That day, I understood the real meaning of possessiveness.
.
But Mr. Callister's anger isn't the only thing Camilla had faced...
And this is where I turned mature...
.
The reason I didn't talk to her or stop contacting her all these five years is because I was mad at her.
I was mad at her for hiding it for so long.
I was mad at her because she kept it to herself and refused to open up all these years.
I was mad at her for not telling Uncle Rhys and Aunt Bridget.
And I will be mad again if she pushes me away when she needs someone the most.
.
"He doesn't own you, Camilla!" I uttered as my palm clenched into a fist, trying to calm down my anger. "He has no right..."
"I can't escape this." Camilla huffed as the tears left her mouth. She again bit her lips. "Not anymore... not anymore when he..."
"When he what?" My heart filled with uneasiness, protectiveness, and fear. "What are you talking about, Camilla?! What did he do to you?!"
Another pause.
Another shed of tears.
"He... he is planning..." She took forever to let those words out, but, "He is planning to marry me..."
He what-
Did she just say—
What?!
He was fucking thirty-five, old man!
And he must be thirty-eight now!
How the fuck could he think of marrying a seventeen-year-old girl?!
.
"Mr. Callister is planning to marry me in the future and..." Camilla bit her lips again. Two more allowances, and I'm replacing my teeth with hers. "And I can't deny him... I ruined his life, and... and I can't deny him..."
.
She is kidding me, right?
She is fucking kidding me!
Do Uncle Rhys and Aunt Bridget know about this?!
They must not because if they did, Uncle Rhys would have buried Mr. Callister alive.
.
But let me do that for Uncle Rhys.
I would bury Mr. Callister six feet under the ground.
Alive.
.
"I have no choice but to marry him." Camilla bit her lips. One more allowance. "His wife is dead because of me..."
What?
What is she talking about?
"Camilla..." I-
I can't take this anymore. I just can't.
I don't know what exactly I'm feeling or what I want to say, but
Fuck everything.
She can't marry him or anyone.
She just fucking can't.
.
"Niko..." Camilla breathed my name, and her teeth sunk in on her lower lip.
No more allowances.
.
My hand reached to her jaw, another hold onto her waist, and in the tiniest second...
I slammed my lips on hers.
.
.
She can't marry him if I make her mine.
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