My legs are still shaking.
My body drained out.
My heart is beating unevenly.
And my soul is on fire.
Niko Volkov has successfully turned me into a blushing mess.
I cannot feel myself without thinking about him.
Last night was,
Last night was one of the most precious nights I have ever seen.
The way his mouth was feeding on me resembled the addictive drunkard drinking the alcohol.
.
Did I really do that to him?
Niko Volkov.
Am I falling for you?
.
"What's on your neck, Cami?" Mom asked me while looking at my neck. I couldn't understand, but
"Oh." I touched my neck and glanced down at my shoulders. Not just on my shoulder, but my collarbones and breast got red rashes.
"Is that a rash?" Mom was concerned as she passed me the orange juice. We all are having breakfast in the garden, around the rectangular table. Sun looked sunnier and happier today.
"Yeah, Cami, is that a rash?!" Aunt Jules smirked at me, and I realized it isn't a rash. Dear lord?! Did Niko give me a hickey? "Your whole collarbone got it."
I gawked at Niko with widened eyes, and he cracked a playful smile. The smirk on his face says it all. It's his doing.
"Yes." I swallowed and choked on the orange juice as I answered quickly. "It... it must be that lemon soap." I feel so bad about lying to Mom.
I never lie to my parents. Especially to Dad. But I can't claim I am clean since I've been hiding a secret from them all these years.
Mom and Dad know about my fear of mirrors, but I lied to them. I lied to them, saying I had a nightmare about mirrors every day for a month, and that built a fear inside me. Mom and Dad were concerned about it but believed it anyway.
I remember Mom crying out that day when I first told them about fear of mirrors.
I also remember Dad's reaction to knowing my fear. I don't know if he was angry at mirrors for scaring me or angry at himself for not being able to do anything about it, but
That day, he broke every mirror in the house.
His knuckles were bleeding when he broke some of the mirrors with his fists.
I know what he must have felt.
His little princess is scared of the mirrors, and he couldn't do anything. That thing still eats Dad from the inside, but he doesn't show it. He remains strong. Always.
I can't tell how much I love him for that.
I love him more than anything in this world.
Anything.
.
"The lemon soap doesn't suit you at all, Cami." Aunt Jules also flicked her brows at me while she wrapped her arms around Niko's shoulder. "Look at how badly it affected your beautiful skin."
Niko stumbled on his lemonade and tried to push away Aunt Jules as she smirked at him.
And now, I regret wearing a falling-sleeves dress. I love this pink silk the most, but I guess I shouldn't have worn this today, but I didn't look into the mirror before wearing this.
"What lemon soap?" Dad panicked as always as he stood up from his chair and watched me with concerned eyes. "Dammit. Show me the soap, and I'll throw that freaking thing away!"
Dad slowly brushed his thumb on my rash, which is not at all a rash and a hickey given by Niko.
Now I feel embarrassed that Dad is touching it!
Everyone thinks of me so innocently that none of them thought that it might be a hickey.
God,
Niko is ruining my reputation of being a good girl very well.
This boy!
"Rhys, baby. It's just a soap and not a boy." Mom pulled Dad back on the chair with a warning smile, and Dad sat quietly a second later.
"If it was a boy, I wouldn't have just thrown him away but burned him to ashes and spread them over the soil of Eldorra." Dad said, and I glimpsed at Niko with proud eyes. "To make it painful, I'd burn him alive."
"Dear God. Will I ever see our daughter get married? I swear I'm really scared for her husband." Mom rolled her eyes and shoved the muffin in her mouth with disappointment.
"Whoever marries Camilla is going to be the luckiest. My little girl is so beautiful." Aunt Stella sent me a flying kiss and I blushed.
Aunt Stella always praises me. Aunt Stella and I vibe so well too.
Every dress I wear is designed by her and her only. She knows my style pretty well, and I can wear anything she designed with a blind eye.
She's that good.
"Luckiest but ill-fated. He'd also be getting a devil named Larsen with my angel Camilla." Uncle Christian said while squinting his eyes at Dad.
"Care about your daughter's future husband, Harper." Dad uttered. "It's better to get a devil than Satan himself."
"But aren't the devil and Satan the same?" Aunt Ava asked innocently, and Uncle Alex's eyes looked up after forever.
"They're too illiterate to know that, Sunshine." Uncle Alex said, and Uncle Christian and Dad gawked at him like they'd throw their phone at him for being too smart.
"Or maybe, they just wanted to tell each other that 'We're one'..." Uncle Josh passed a statement, and Dad pretended to vomit while Uncle Christian disgusted his face.
"You have a serious fascination with shipping men together." Uncle Alex said, and Uncle Josh winked at him with a flying kiss.
I could see Uncle Alex's eyes roll back in his head and his face feeling disgust as if he just ate the noodles with cookies dipped in them.
.
"Nik? Could you massage my shoulders? They're aching for no reason." Aunt Jules smirked at Niko, and he went all stubborn and serious. "Thanks."
"Yes, Ma'am. Of course." Niko clenched his teeth as well as Aunt Jules's shoulder while her smirk remained on her face.
They're acting weird.
Well, they always act weird, but today is weirder.
"What did you do, Niko?" Uncle Alex asked Niko while his eyes explored the face of Aunt Jules. "What did she catch you into?"
"It's nothing, Dad. I'm just doing this beautiful lady a little help, right Aunt Jules?" Niko faked a smile at Uncle Alex and pinched Aunt Jules shoulder, and she jumped.
"Aunt Jules?" She crooked her brow at Niko, and he huffed out of frustration. He huffed out of frustration and,
"Your Majesty." Niko addressed her as Your Majesty, and I just know it.
I just know that she knows about us!
There's no way Niko would obey Aunt Jules without resistance.
She knows!
"She definitely knows something." Aunt Ava said to Uncle Alex as he kept staring at Niko and Aunt Jules with a doubtful stare.
"Trust me, Niko. I've been a victim of her devil tricks." Uncle Alex said. "She'll drain your blood out, and before you know it, you'll be dead."
"Didn't know you're so scared of me, Mr. Coldheart." Aunt Jules flipped her hair behind on Niko's face, and yet Niko kept fake smiling. "Looks like you're scared of something after all."
"I'm not scared of you." Offense flicked in Uncle Alex's eyes. "I just simply don't like you."
"Oh, come on. You men are so full of egos and pride. I can crush it down under my heels in a few seconds." Aunt Jules crossed her legs and leaned on the chair like a queen would sit on the throne. "One secret of every man and your lives is living hell."
"What secrets, Jules?" Aunt Stella watched her suspiciously. Aunt Jules smirked and increased towards Uncle Christian, and he panicked like never before.
His whiskey eyes show warning as well as a plea.
"Remember when one of your followers was sending you dirty messages and it suddenly stopped?" Aunt Jules kept Uncle Christian freaking out.
"Yeah?" Aunt Stella looked at Uncle Christian while he smiled painfully. "What about it?"
"Jules?" Uncle Christian's freaked-out smile increased at Aunt Jules. She rolled her tongue on her lips and crooked her brow. "Take the sandwich, please."
Uncle Christian was clearly trying to change the subject. Wait?! Did you say please?
"Nothing. He died of a heart attack." Aunt Jules covered the subject with something, but-
Uncle Christian killed that man? Oh my god!
"So much blood on your hands, Harper. Why do things that need to be hidden?" Dad laughed with pride, but
"Really, Rhys? Aren't you the cleanest?" The gunpoint of Aunt Jules took the target of Dad. "What about the time when you asked me about the professor who had a crush on Bridget?"
"What... what about him, Jules?" Dad, who was laughing a second ago, is freaking out.
"He was brutally beaten eighteen years ago for an anonymous reason. Can you explain that?" Aunt Jules smirked, and Dad widened his eyes to the extreme.
"I don't know what you're talking about..." Dad smiled with panic, and his index finger moved on his lips secretively. "And what's the point in talking about the past, right?"
Right.
Wait?! Dear God, has Dad beaten that professor?
"Such a control-less people." Uncle Josh laughed and is going to regret his whole life now because,
"Don't laugh, Joshy." Aunt Jules didn't even leave her own husband. "I can always tell Christian that you photoshopped his photo into a pink tutu and made it go viral on Instagram. Only because he invited Alex for a drink."
"It was you who made that photo? You're so dead, Chen!" Uncle Christian almost got up from the chair to punch Uncle Josh, but Aunt Stella pulled him back on the chair with a warning stare.
"Looks like none of the men in this family has survived Aunt Jules's black magic." Niko said to Uncle Josh when he patted Niko's back sympathetically. "Guess you're the only one lucky here, Jerry."
"My baby is clean. He's not like his dad at all." Aunt Jules kissed in Jeremy's direction. And he was so busy being quiet that he didn't even react.
"Mom and Dad. He's not like his mom and dad at all." Uncle Alex just joked. Miracle. "I still wonder who you two have raised him."
"Technically, you're the one who raised him." Uncle Josh said. "No wonder my boy is cold all the time. Stop teaching my son to be cold, Alex!"
"Then stop teaching my son to be a narcissist." Uncle Alex pointed at Niko.
"Jules? Ava?" Mom avowed. "Are you sure you didn't swap your sons after birth? Because Niko is just like Josh, while Jerry is all Alex."
"Can't help it now." Aunt Ava said as she looked at Niko and Jeremy. "They spend more time with their uncles than dads."
"Yeah! Stop playing chess with my son." Uncle Josh blamed Uncle Alex.
"And you stop skiing with my son!" Uncle Alex replied.
"J, Dad. If you argue one more time, I'm leaving the table." Sofia, who has also been quiet all the time, has finally used her right to shut them up.
"Sorry, Pink." Uncle Josh said. "Sorry, Moonlight." Uncle Alex said, and they looked away.
.
"By the way, where's our firecracker?" Mom asked about Lia. No one noticed that she wasn't here because of the talking. "She didn't come downstairs?"
"Oh, she had period cramps, so..." Before Aunt Stella could finish her sentence, Uncle Christian was already out of his chair and walking inside the house.
"I'm staying with Lia today; count me out of any plan you made." Uncle Christian said, and he disappeared.
Now he is going to call every single doctor he knows to ask how to reduce the period cramps.
"He does this every single time." Aunt Stella looked at him that way and shook her head. "He'll let a dying man die but wouldn't go to rescue him on Lia's period days. He takes leaves every four days a month just to stay home with Lia on her periods."
"That's so thoughtful of him." Aunt Ava was awed.
"Thoughtful? Dear god, no..." Aunt Stella sighed heavily. "Both of them spend a fortune on cookies and brownies and chocolates. All they do is eat pizzas and pastas while watching crime movies. I wonder if he is the same Christian who used to refuse to take a single leave per month."
"He likes eating his words." Dad sipped on the coffee and huffed. "Rather, he survives by eating his own words."
"Just like you survive by giving threats." Uncle Josh said, and laughed.
So much for being in this chaotic family.
All of them are crazy.
.....................................................................................................
Our Eldorra tour has begun. They've already seen every place, but still, they wanted to see it again. Especially Aunt Ava. She likes museums or historical places. She collects lots of photos and posts them on her website. She really is passionate about what she does.
Looks like Niko got those genes from her. He also loves what he does.
He loves architecture so much that on every vacation, he carries his sketchbook and draws everything he finds fascinating.
Even now, he is sketching the old fort we're exploring.
He is sitting outside on the lawn alone, sketching the landscape and fort quietly.
It's really wonderful and surprising at the same time because he stays quiet only and only if he is working or drawing.
Every other time, he is all chaos and jokes and fun and roasting and music and goofing and jumping and God knows whatever else is there to do.
He looks different but too attractive when he works. Focused expressions, unblinking eyes, fingers moving on the page so passionately, and no disturbance even if the apocalypse comes.
He truly is passionate about architecture, and I'm glad he got the college he wanted. He has so many ideas already. I bet he'd be living the life he planned.
He planned the life logically. All set and drafted.
I remember our conversation from five years ago when he told me how he wants to be an architect and create the environment of harmless buildings. How he wants to travel the world to explore various architecture and how he wants to live his life with no rules and regrets.
I guess his fascination, passion, and freedom of thoughts make him more attractive than his face, charming aura, and perfection. Even with his goofy, playful personality... he is one of the most mature people I know.
He is not meant to stay in one place forever. He is meant to fly. He is meant to be free without ties on his legs, and he is meant to do what he always wants to do.
Niko Volkov is the definition of freedom.
Niko is freedom.
.
"Caramel?" Niko's voice disturbed my thoughts when he waved at me from afar. We all were inside the fort, exploring carvings and construction while Niko decided to draw outside on the lawn. "Come here!"
I walked outside the fort when everyone kept moving further. Aunt Ava was taking pictures of Uncle Alex and Sofia while Uncle Josh was taking pictures of Aunt Jules. And for Mom and Dad, they kept walking further while holding each other's hands.
I walked closer to him when he was almost lying on the grass. His comfy cargos are flexing on his long legs and white tee. White tee that is scribbled with sketch pen. I bet Niko drew on his shirt on his own.
"Look at this." Niko showed me the sketch he made when I reached him. He handed me the sketch and just lay down on the lawn without thinking of any people around.
He just lay down, looking at the sky.
I hesitated before sitting on the lawn beside him because the people here know who I am. They know me as their princess, but I wanted to sit with him.
I sat beside Niko and watched the sketch he drew. The grass felt softer on my bare legs when I collected my knee-length dress before sitting.
He drew a whole fort in less than ten minutes just with a pencil, and it looks so amazing. A detailed fort on the abstract sky.
But that isn't the only thing that caught my attention. There was a girl standing inside the fort with a long, flared dress, hair pinned up neat, and her body so delicate.
It's me? He drew me standing inside that fort.
"Niko..." I was amused by how beautiful he drew me as well as the whole sketch. "It's so beautiful." Niko's hands were under his head, and he tilted it to look at me.
His satisfied and happy face sent warmth down my heart. I was sitting in the middle of the lawn while Niko just lay down while looking at me. There must be many people who are looking at us, but he makes everything so easy.
"Do you want to draw?" Niko suddenly got up and was excited to show me his sketchbook. The sparkle in his eyes only grew when I nodded positively.
"But I don't know how to draw..." I smiled when he passed me a pencil and his sketchbook. A thick sketchbook that barely had any empty pages left. He drew more than two hundred sketches?!
"You don't need to know how to draw to draw. Just scribble anything." He said and scooted towards me. "Try sketching that maple tree."
The wind and the melody of falling leaves only increase the coziness. He pointed at the huge maple tree near the fort while I looked at his bright face instead of the tree.
This boy is more beautiful than any scenery around.
"Sketching?" Jeremy's voice interrupted my stare on Niko when he sat beside us leisurely. He was also unbothered by sitting on the lawn in the middle of nowhere.
.
How are they so free?
I could never—
Well, I am sitting on the lawn right now.
What if Mr. Callister finds this out? Well, he will find this anyway. I'm out in public.
.
"Yeah." Niko and Jeremy looked at the blank page where I didn't even draw a line.
Their gaze is putting me under pressure. Both of them are born artists.
They drew like Vincent Van Gogh would paint. Jane Austen would write, and Mozart would play a piece of music.
And I barely know how to sketch a flower.
Niko is a pre-architecture student, while Jeremy is literally a sculptor.
Who would know an art better than them?
.
I drew for a few minutes while Niko lay down on the lawn once again and Jerry sat beside me quietly.
I hid the sketchbook from them while I drew the maple tree, and I swear Niko and Jeremy would never let me draw again once they saw the sketch I made.
Jerry also had picked up a page to draw, but his art looked like it came straight out of an art gallery. I glimpsed at his green eyes; his red hair shining under the bright sun and freckles only make him beautiful.
"Show us what you drew." Niko held his hand in front of me when I stopped drawing. Jeremy also watched me with readiness. But,
"No. It's not that good." I said getting up from the lawn and slowly escaping from showing them what I drew. Niko and Jeremy also got up as they saw me walking away with the sketchbook.
"Hey, show us." Jeremy said. He barely smiles, but once he does, he looks like one of the most gorgeous men the world has ever seen. I nodded negatively and kept walking. "Cami! Show us!" Jeremy said again, and in a quick moment,
Niko stole the sketchbook from my hand. I barely understood what just happened, but Niko has already tossed his shoes in the air and ran on the lawn.
He just ran.
Free.
Like he wanted me to catch him. Like he wanted me to run behind him. Like he wanted me to just run wild and free on the beautiful, shiny, and green grass.
.
I don't know what happened to me or if I was really embarrassed of my sketch, but I ran behind Niko.
I run behind him to catch him.
I run behind him freely.
The golden sunshine reflecting on the green grass, the maple tree I just drew on the paper is saying goodbye to some of its leaves. The wind, the clouds, the clear sky. The smell of the sweetness and soil filled the surrounding...
I feel it.
I feel it in my bones.
I feel it on my skin, and I feel it in my heart.
An irresistible laugh pops out of my mouth automatically as I run behind him.
What is this? This is so warm. So happy. So alive.
I don't know if I ever laughed this hard...
And,
In a quick but enchanted moment,
I tossed my delicate toe flats in the air like Niko tossed his shoes, and I ran behind him.
I run wild on the soft grass.
I run behind him, laughing hard.
.
God.
I've never felt so alive.
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